What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
This is just too awesome.
Oh, to be in this place one day…
Cred: The Couveture
This time last year, I was preparing for my upcoming trip to Africa. And my life was very different back then. Tonight, as I re-read my previous post about my trip to Africa, I can’t help but feel that the girl that wrote that original post is a very different girl now. The girl that wrote that post was filled with optimism and hope and love and joy and excitement; and though she still exists, I can’t quite shake that feeling that she, the girl from a year ago, has become somewhat muted. Let me explain…
My trip to Africa was wonderful. It was fascinating to experience the true African culture, warmth and friendliness of the people. The children were remarkable and I fell in love with them all. Though they have been through a lot in their lives, their hearts are still so young and pure. Understandably, they crave love and affection and are always ready and willing to greet you with smiles and hugs. They are well taken care of by the staff and truly appreciate everything that they have. I left Africa with a sense of the bigger picture in life, vowed to keep in touch, and felt on top of the world with a new perspective.
Then, I came home and my “first world problems” quickly overtook my new worldly, “there are other things in life that are important” type attitude. I found myself stressing about work, working way too long, wondering if my relationship was the right one, agonizing over and over again how I could be “good enough” or sexy enough, or fun enough. The list goes on and on and on.
Then in September/October of this year a friend of mine became terribly ill and my downward spiral kept getting deeper. The sicker she got, the worse I became mentally and emotionally. Today, my friend is doing much better but her illness has put a lot of things into perspective for me, once again. I am slowly starting to climb out of that spiral, perhaps, not as fast as my friend is recovering (and trust me she has a long way to go), but I take it day by day, hour by hour, chanting the mantra “today is gonna be a good day” until I believe it. Whenever I need inspiration, I just need to think about my friend, who through blood, sweat and tears fought for her life, or the children at the home in Africa who keep smiling every single day, even through hardship.
So, re-reading my previous post about Africa has reminded me about the things that truly matter, the things that truly make me happy and the things that make me fight. Though the girl from a year ago was a very different girl from the one today, they are both a part of me, and I have to embrace them in order to accept the person that I am and believe in the person that I can become.
I think I’ve been foolish
The moon is the same no matter where in the world you’re looking at it - Rome Italy
Como las barras en mi columna, me duele.
Como muchas cirugías antes de la edad de treinta, yo sangro.
Como las palabras en mi diario, me reconforta.
Como el vestido que lleva bien, el esconde me dolor.
Como su odio y la ira y el dolor y la frustración que lo abrazan.
Como el amante quien no sabe que quiere, ya lo tengo.
Como sus opiniones, “espero que la marcha sea feliz, y espero que no volver”, me voy.
I’m tired of being hurt by people who say they care. :(